I want to tell you a short-ish story about my experience having a massage and where in London I got mine from.
Now this is the second massage I have had in my 21 years of living and I have never felt more happily violated in my life. Now yes I understand how wrong that sounds but I promise you, you will understand what I mean by the end of this post.
So I had just been paid….Whoop whoop Praise Jesus YES won’t he do it!!
University was starting the following Monday and your girl was tense AF. So I was thinking “Go ahead and get yourself a massage” so I did.
At first I was nervous to book it because the last time I went I was with my mother and if something happened I knew she was there but this time I was riding solo, anyway…
I booked for 12:30 and got there about 12:33, hahah such as rebel…I entered and this place looked nice but smelt even better! There was a little frail looking Thai lady sitting in the corner reading a book and a receptionist playing with her nails…….FAST FORWARD…….
I enter the room downstairs with the frail lady (the same one from upstairs that was reading her book) and she tells me to strip, at this point I’m just like “RAH okay straight to it, cool”…So now I’m lying on the table with a towel over my back and she reenters the room, Dims the light and gently pushes my head down into the hole thing because for some awkward reason, I’m staring at her intensely.
THEN! Things go from 0 to 100 real freaking quick! One minute she is rubbing my legs and the next she jumps onto the table and in that moment I think to myself, “I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT MY MUM, she wouldn’t have let this shit happen” and then all thoughts go out my head as the little women, quite literally, climbs up my back to my shoulders and presses down with her knees, next thing I know I hear my bones clicking. I’m sure you can guess what I’m thinking…”This is it for me, I’m dying”.
As she moves around my back on her knees I begin to calm down and realize it doesn’t actually hurt, I’m just being really dramatic. 🙂
She then jumps off me and grabs hot oil that she rubs on her hands and onto my back. It smelt amazing, like lavender. I was in heaven.
Theeeeeen she throws me off again by saying in a very quiet yet firm voice, “I go get hot stone now” and then leaves the room.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I am once again, sent spiralling into a state of utter panic. I have NEVER had hot stones on me, I’ve seen pictures and videos and that shit looks painful. I came to relax not get burned!!
She reenters the room and this time I’m ready. I turn around, look at her and say, “Is this going to hurt?” she laughs at me a little, composes herself and says “this your first time, yes?” I answer with a nod and she proceeds to laugh again and then says “okay, turn around”, this does nothing for my nerves but I do as told and lay back down.
She places a towel on my back and then the hot stones, and i’m back off to heaven again. PEACE !
Long-ish story short, she rubs the hot stones, which have now cooled slightly, against my skin and it felt absolutely amazing.
What happened next I was not ready for, she told me to turn over and continued as normal she then grabbed my left leg and bent it laterally.
If you can’t visualize this, think of a wide squat but laying on your back.
Then she pushed down and I started clicking like popcorn going off in the microwave.
She looked at me, I looked at her and we both chuckled. She moved onto my right leg, this time there so no laughter.
With one final rub down, I was done. My body felt relaxed, I somehow felt taller and didn’t want to leave the dimly lit room.
So do you get it now? Happily violated 🙂
This is a link to their website, I am not being paid to promote them I just really wanted to share this with you guys.
I will definitely go back for another massage and I may bring my mama and papa this time, I think they’d love it.
Have you ever had a funny experience like this? let me know in the comment section below.